I’ve always liked acronyms. Starting in 3rd grade with R.O.Y. G. B.I.V. and through college and work, and beyond (DNA, RNA, GPS, GNSS, MIA, ETA, AWOL…). So, when I came into recovery I took to using acronyms like a fish to water. We all know that recovery is full of them, but I remember the moment that I understood just how important they can be.
I was with my first AA sponsor, Robin. She had this little frog on the dashboard of her car. I never mentioned it because I assumed she just had a thing for frogs. Continue reading Recovery Acronyms
In the very beginning of my recovery journey, I had a very difficult time understanding what surrendering means in recovery. I only ever new it in an interpersonal context. Like when General Lee’s surrender to General Grant. Or even in a philosophical way, as in when I surrender to my desires (alcoholic, food, sexual, painful, or the like). Surrender always had a negative connotation when it was me that needed to surrender. In my mind my surrender equaled the “other side’s” victory. They were mutually exclusive.
Here I was being told just the opposite. I was told that if I surrender than I become the victor. I had an extremely difficult time wrapping my mind around that. The fact that I was still “hazy” from alcohol may have contributed to that, but long after I had dried out I was still in the mental fog and emotional blur that takes more time to clear. But even after that had lifted for the most part, I couldn’t understand how surrender could equate victory, nor how in the world I was supposed to go about achieving it. Continue reading Surrender: Can I really “give it over”?
So, yeah… I had a slip in my OA recovery
Now I’ve gotten this question many times, what’s considered cheating for you? For all non-addicts out there, know this. For an addict, 100% abstinence is needed in order to maintain recovery. And for all of you who aren’t food addicts, know that with food I have 2 areas that I need to maintain abstinence. The first is trigger foods. For me that is sugar, flour, white potatoes, and cornmeal. The second is volume binging (yes, I’ve used the coined slang). That means either eating too much, and sometimes even just eating too fast. Normally, when I eat too fast I can catch myself and slow down. But overeating… uh uh uh! Not a good thing ever. I also need to be careful to not under-eat (!!!). Sometimes, if I am too lazy to add the extra drop to get the exact weight I end up hearing my addiction telling me, “Come on… You were missing 0.6 oz. You can have a drop more to fill the quota.” Additionally, if I wait too long to eat (if I’m on the road or out shopping), I end up eating way too quickly. Continue reading What’s Cheating? Lesson Learned!