Category Archives: Self-Harm Recovery

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Pet Peeve: Insurance (continued)

So in my last insurance post I told you about the drama with my claims for therapy. Today I want to talk about my claim for rehab.

Before going to rehab I checked with my insurance to find out what sort of coverage I’d get. I was told that so long as I got pre-authorization I’d have my standard coverage. That meant that once I met my deductible they’d cover 70/30 of the allowed cost, and when I reached my out of pocket limit they’d cover 100% of the allowed cost.

Well, the rehab was really good about getting the pre-authorizations. First they covered two weeks and then it went on a week to week basis. I got the authorizations for my entire stay.

Once I got home, it did take time until I got the invoice from the rehab, but once I did, I promptly submitted it to AmeriHealth. I didn’t hear back from them for over a month. I had already gotten responses on my therapy claims that I had submitted after that claim (all of which were declined…). Continue reading Pet Peeve: Insurance (continued)

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Recovery Acronyms

I’ve always liked acronyms. Starting in 3rd grade with R.O.Y. G. B.I.V. and through college and work, and beyond (DNA, RNA, GPS, GNSS, MIA, ETA, AWOL…). So, when I came into recovery I took to using acronyms like a fish to water. We all know that recovery is full of them, but I remember the moment that I understood just how important they can be.

I was with my first AA sponsor, Robin. She had this little frog on the dashboard of her car. I never mentioned it because I assumed she just had a thing for frogs. Continue reading Recovery Acronyms

Slippery-Slope

Why Do I Half-Measure?

Half Measures Availed us Nothing: The Slippery Slope

If I’m told that half-measures availed us nothing, how come I still do it? This is a million dollar question.

When I start getting into my own head (aka obsessing) everything becomes blurred. In a few short minutes I can go from a seemingly rational, intelligent (if I may say so myself!) woman to a bumbling buffoon. Seriously. Suddenly the idea of an extra fruit seems completely rational. The same goes for surfing online. It all seems like if I just do it a little bit, I’ll be able to pass the time without getting into trouble. Continue reading Why Do I Half-Measure?

Daily Questions for Recovery

Daily Sobriety Renewal Checklist*

These questions are shared between recovery partners at the beginning of the day.

checkAre you willing to admit you are powerless over lust and sexual acting out/food/alcohol/drug of choice just for today?

checkDo you desire sobriety for the next 24 hours: freedom from obsession and acting out, freedom from fear, resentment, shame, and isolation?

checkAre you willing to do whatever is necessary to protect this desire?

checkAnd, just for today, are you willing, with me, to hand over your will and the care of your life to God?

checkDid anything happen in the last 24 hours that we need to bring into the open?

checkAre you aware of anything in your plans for the next 24 hours of which you might become ashamed? Any danger zones, slippery spots on the horizon we should bring to the light?

checkClose by exchanging at least one gratitude.

* Taken from the SA newsletter: The Essay

 

 

 

 

 

 

Surrender

Surrender: Can I really “give it over”?

Surrender

In the very beginning of my recovery journey, I had a very difficult time understanding what surrendering means in recovery. I only ever new it in an interpersonal context. Like when General Lee’s surrender to General Grant. Or even in a philosophical way, as in when I surrender to my desires (alcoholic, food, sexual, painful, or the like). Surrender always had a negative connotation when it was me that needed to surrender. In my mind my surrender equaled the “other side’s” victory. They were mutually exclusive.

Foggy_visionHere I was being told just the opposite. I was told that if I surrender than I become the victor. I had an extremely difficult time wrapping my mind around that. The fact that I was still “hazy” from alcohol may have contributed to that, but long after I had dried out I was still in the mental fog and emotional blur that takes more time to clear. But even after that had lifted for the most part, I couldn’t understand how surrender could equate victory, nor how in the world I was supposed to go about achieving it. Continue reading Surrender: Can I really “give it over”?

To Let Go and Let God

Surrender

As promised, here are 2 relatively recent stories that depict my surrender and how, when I can get to that place and am able to let Him, God takes over.

The first goes back to a little over 2 years ago. It was June of 2012. I had been out of a job for about 6 months. I was falling deeper and deeper into debt. I had stopped going to school, hoping that I’d heal in therapy and get a full-time job to help me pull through financially. Each month had come and gone. I wasn’t making ends meet, to the point that I seriously did not have enough money to cover the minimums on my credit cards. If my cards were frozen I wouldn’t be able to by anything, including my meds. Continue reading To Let Go and Let God