Category Archives: Addiction Recovery

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Pet Peeve: Insurance (continued)

So in my last insurance post I told you about the drama with my claims for therapy. Today I want to talk about my claim for rehab.

Before going to rehab I checked with my insurance to find out what sort of coverage I’d get. I was told that so long as I got pre-authorization I’d have my standard coverage. That meant that once I met my deductible they’d cover 70/30 of the allowed cost, and when I reached my out of pocket limit they’d cover 100% of the allowed cost.

Well, the rehab was really good about getting the pre-authorizations. First they covered two weeks and then it went on a week to week basis. I got the authorizations for my entire stay.

Once I got home, it did take time until I got the invoice from the rehab, but once I did, I promptly submitted it to AmeriHealth. I didn’t hear back from them for over a month. I had already gotten responses on my therapy claims that I had submitted after that claim (all of which were declined…). Continue reading Pet Peeve: Insurance (continued)

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When It Rains It Pours (Even in my apartment!)

The Great Flood

Wow! It’s been a really long time since I last posted. So very much has happened in my life. But I’m going to start with last night. It’s what makes me feel so overwhelmed…

imagesI decided that I was going to try to help myself. I put the dishes drying next to the sink in the correct cabinet and then proceeded to wash the dishes.

Now, for a while already, there’s been a slightly bad smell in my apartment. I couldn’t figure out what. I assumed that if I really clean up and get organized I’d find it.

As I was washing the dishes I sat there thinking about making shabbos and how to reorganize everything. Suddenly, I felt water dripping on my feet. I’m not always so neat while washing the dishes so I didn’t think too much of it. Until it hit me that they weren’t getting damp, I realized I made a much bigger mess than I thought because there was a lot of water on the floor. I got towel and started to wipe down the counter in front of the sink and then the cabinet below it. When I opened the door I noticed that there was a HUGE flood in there and that the water was still pouring onto my feet. Continue reading When It Rains It Pours (Even in my apartment!)

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Can I Really Get Sober?

Can I get real sobriety?

This is a very weighty question. I know I want it, but it seems to me that I just can’t get it. When I strengthen myself in one, I somehow manage to act on another.

I’ve got 15 days since I had my last slip in SA. Yet, I’ve been all over the place with the food. Yesterday I did something I couldn’t imagine I’d ever do. I ate 28 oatmeal cookies. Granted, they weren’t regular cookies. I used a recipe that I found here (I used the version the author made). But I still ate an entire batch. And, yes! My stomach is really hurting me today… Continue reading Can I Really Get Sober?

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What is Counted as a Relapse?

re·lapse

noun \ri-ˈlaps, ˈrē-ˌ\

-the return of an illness after a period of improvement
-a return to bad behavior that you had stopped doing

1: the act or an instance of backsliding, worsening, or subsiding
2:  a recurrence of symptoms of a disease after a period of improvement

I hate that word! Continue reading What is Counted as a Relapse?

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Step 9: Made Direct Amends to Such People Wherever Possible (Part 2)

Dave is my brother-in-law.

Straight from the get-go things were always a bit awkward between us. I used to chalk it up to a chemistry thing. I’m not so sure about that, though. I have a feeling that my sister told him about our sexual acting out and the general dysfunction of our relationship. And I don’t hold that against her at all. It’s just the facts.

Additionally, Dave, much like myself, has a very strong personality. I also know that he has some “history” that he came to the marriage with, Continue reading Step 9: Made Direct Amends to Such People Wherever Possible (Part 2)

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Step 9: Made Direct Amends to Such People Wherever Possible (Part 1)

Asking My Ego to Never Deny Something

Yeah, that’s a huge part of my 8th and 9th steps. When my E.G.O. steps in, it’s a clear indication that I’m Easing God Out of my life (Good Orderly Direction). That is the ultimate denial of everything that I hold dear in my recovery and healing.

As long as I am not willing to make amends with someone, I am denying the reality of my responsibility in what occurred. And so long as I deny that, I can not move on and past it. I can not forgive myself.

It’s not easy coming to a place that you can actually do all this. Continue reading Step 9: Made Direct Amends to Such People Wherever Possible (Part 1)

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Recovery Acronyms

I’ve always liked acronyms. Starting in 3rd grade with R.O.Y. G. B.I.V. and through college and work, and beyond (DNA, RNA, GPS, GNSS, MIA, ETA, AWOL…). So, when I came into recovery I took to using acronyms like a fish to water. We all know that recovery is full of them, but I remember the moment that I understood just how important they can be.

I was with my first AA sponsor, Robin. She had this little frog on the dashboard of her car. I never mentioned it because I assumed she just had a thing for frogs. Continue reading Recovery Acronyms

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Priorities: Putting Me First

Selfish vs Self-Preservation

Putting Money in the Bank: Putting Me First

I had a very hard time with this concept in the beginning of recovery. I knew family was a priority. I also knew that I’d do whatever it takes to protect my priorities. Or so I thought.

I would do anything for anyone that I cared about so long as it didn’t contradict my moral compass. I’d do it even if it meant giving up what I had or wanted. I’d go all out. I always tried to remove myself from the equation. That was selfless, no? Continue reading Priorities: Putting Me First

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Why Do I Half-Measure?

Half Measures Availed us Nothing: The Slippery Slope

If I’m told that half-measures availed us nothing, how come I still do it? This is a million dollar question.

When I start getting into my own head (aka obsessing) everything becomes blurred. In a few short minutes I can go from a seemingly rational, intelligent (if I may say so myself!) woman to a bumbling buffoon. Seriously. Suddenly the idea of an extra fruit seems completely rational. The same goes for surfing online. It all seems like if I just do it a little bit, I’ll be able to pass the time without getting into trouble. Continue reading Why Do I Half-Measure?

What do I do with a spoiled lunch?

I must say, I am really disappointed.

After all my struggling these past few weeks, I’ve finally started to get back on track. (I plan on writing a post about that slippery slope.) With food, in particular, I’ve been very responsible. I’ve prepared ahead and frozen the portions for later in time. Thank God, I didn’t have any slips yesterday. Finally!!!

Today, like any other day, I prepared my lunch as my breakfast was cooking on the stove. I woke up a few minutes late so I figured I’d keep it simple. Continue reading What do I do with a spoiled lunch?