All posts by Judy King

About Judy King

I was born in 1983 (you can do the math!) in Brooklyn, NY. When I was about 8.5 my family moved to NJ and I've lived here ever since. I come from a highly dysfunctional, very large, family. I am Jewish ultra orthodox and love my life as it is (sometimes...). I am recovering from multiple addictions, including alcohol, food, sex, and self-harm. Besides for a whole array of employment occupations, I've got hobbies, interests, and lots of drama! Read all about it and feel free to comment/contact me.

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It’s Been a Long Time

Wow! It sure has been a long time since I last posted.

Here’s a compact update that will (hopefully!) be getting complete posts with the details in the coming weeks.

  • I’m sober!
  • I’ve moved
  • I’m looking for a new job

Ah! I love when I can wrap things up in a neat little bow. It somehow makes my life feel so much simpler among all the chaos.

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Pet Peeve: Insurance (continued)

So in my last insurance post I told you about the drama with my claims for therapy. Today I want to talk about my claim for rehab.

Before going to rehab I checked with my insurance to find out what sort of coverage I’d get. I was told that so long as I got pre-authorization I’d have my standard coverage. That meant that once I met my deductible they’d cover 70/30 of the allowed cost, and when I reached my out of pocket limit they’d cover 100% of the allowed cost.

Well, the rehab was really good about getting the pre-authorizations. First they covered two weeks and then it went on a week to week basis. I got the authorizations for my entire stay.

Once I got home, it did take time until I got the invoice from the rehab, but once I did, I promptly submitted it to AmeriHealth. I didn’t hear back from them for over a month. I had already gotten responses on my therapy claims that I had submitted after that claim (all of which were declined…). Continue reading Pet Peeve: Insurance (continued)

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Pet Peeve: Insurance (Any surprise in that?)

It’s official! Insurance is just a scam.

OK. I’ve just about had enough. This is the saga of the 2015 mess of insurance.

When I got my last two jobs, when it came to getting health insurance, I took out a private policy. The first place wasn’t big enough to require offering insurance (and they didn’t), and my current place doesn’t offer out of network coverage on their insurance plan. So I bought a private policy. It’s how I pay for therapy. I could never go for therapy otherwise.

Well, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s this “healthcare reform”. And a reformation it most certainly was! Aside from all that changing, my insurance company (AmeriHealth NJ) decided to revamp their system for 2015. Continue reading Pet Peeve: Insurance (Any surprise in that?)

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Hello Again

Wow!

I can’t believe I completely forgot about this blog. It’s been more than a year. So what reminded me, you ask? Simple. Someone contacted me about it. And I’m glad they did. I’ve got so much that has happened over the past year. I really hope to keep this going.

Some things that came up over the past year (or so!):

  • Car trouble
  • Brother’s wedding
  • Relapse
  • Rehab
  • Sewage backup
  • Archery lessons
  • Insurance headaches

Stay tuned!

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When It Rains It Pours (Even in my apartment!)

The Great Flood

Wow! It’s been a really long time since I last posted. So very much has happened in my life. But I’m going to start with last night. It’s what makes me feel so overwhelmed…

imagesI decided that I was going to try to help myself. I put the dishes drying next to the sink in the correct cabinet and then proceeded to wash the dishes.

Now, for a while already, there’s been a slightly bad smell in my apartment. I couldn’t figure out what. I assumed that if I really clean up and get organized I’d find it.

As I was washing the dishes I sat there thinking about making shabbos and how to reorganize everything. Suddenly, I felt water dripping on my feet. I’m not always so neat while washing the dishes so I didn’t think too much of it. Until it hit me that they weren’t getting damp, I realized I made a much bigger mess than I thought because there was a lot of water on the floor. I got towel and started to wipe down the counter in front of the sink and then the cabinet below it. When I opened the door I noticed that there was a HUGE flood in there and that the water was still pouring onto my feet. Continue reading When It Rains It Pours (Even in my apartment!)

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Can I Really Get Sober?

Can I get real sobriety?

This is a very weighty question. I know I want it, but it seems to me that I just can’t get it. When I strengthen myself in one, I somehow manage to act on another.

I’ve got 15 days since I had my last slip in SA. Yet, I’ve been all over the place with the food. Yesterday I did something I couldn’t imagine I’d ever do. I ate 28 oatmeal cookies. Granted, they weren’t regular cookies. I used a recipe that I found here (I used the version the author made). But I still ate an entire batch. And, yes! My stomach is really hurting me today… Continue reading Can I Really Get Sober?

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What is Counted as a Relapse?

re·lapse

noun \ri-ˈlaps, ˈrē-ˌ\

-the return of an illness after a period of improvement
-a return to bad behavior that you had stopped doing

1: the act or an instance of backsliding, worsening, or subsiding
2:  a recurrence of symptoms of a disease after a period of improvement

I hate that word! Continue reading What is Counted as a Relapse?

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Step 9: Made Direct Amends to Such People Wherever Possible (Part 2)

Dave is my brother-in-law.

Straight from the get-go things were always a bit awkward between us. I used to chalk it up to a chemistry thing. I’m not so sure about that, though. I have a feeling that my sister told him about our sexual acting out and the general dysfunction of our relationship. And I don’t hold that against her at all. It’s just the facts.

Additionally, Dave, much like myself, has a very strong personality. I also know that he has some “history” that he came to the marriage with, Continue reading Step 9: Made Direct Amends to Such People Wherever Possible (Part 2)

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Step 9: Made Direct Amends to Such People Wherever Possible (Part 1)

Asking My Ego to Never Deny Something

Yeah, that’s a huge part of my 8th and 9th steps. When my E.G.O. steps in, it’s a clear indication that I’m Easing God Out of my life (Good Orderly Direction). That is the ultimate denial of everything that I hold dear in my recovery and healing.

As long as I am not willing to make amends with someone, I am denying the reality of my responsibility in what occurred. And so long as I deny that, I can not move on and past it. I can not forgive myself.

It’s not easy coming to a place that you can actually do all this. Continue reading Step 9: Made Direct Amends to Such People Wherever Possible (Part 1)

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Recovery Acronyms

I’ve always liked acronyms. Starting in 3rd grade with R.O.Y. G. B.I.V. and through college and work, and beyond (DNA, RNA, GPS, GNSS, MIA, ETA, AWOL…). So, when I came into recovery I took to using acronyms like a fish to water. We all know that recovery is full of them, but I remember the moment that I understood just how important they can be.

I was with my first AA sponsor, Robin. She had this little frog on the dashboard of her car. I never mentioned it because I assumed she just had a thing for frogs. Continue reading Recovery Acronyms